Give Paula A Break...Sort of

Recently, Paula Dean revealed to the world that she has been living with Type II Diabetes for the last three years. And admittedly, I was pissed to hear this like many others. Not because of her cooking style, but because she hid her condition to gain popularity and is now opening up about it because she's getting paid to do so.

Her cooking style has been coined as fatty, sugary, over indulgent, gluttonous, etc. And to some extent can be. Since her big reveal, I feel that most people can't get the words "I told you so!" out of their mouthes fast enough...including the doctors that interviewed with her on the Today Show. I also can see a few weeks down the road, Deen getting blamed for part the Obesity problem in this country as a whole. However, we can't blame Paula for what is wrong with the eating in this country. Many of Paula's dishes are recipes she grew up with as a child-that many of us grew up with, and we didn't have an obesity epidemic back then. So what is the problem? Where does it start?

I subscribe to Cooking Light magazine (which will get it's own blog soon), and always look forward to the Note From the Editor. Scott Mowbray has a great way of summing up each issue, but also brings a personal light to his writing and the magazine as a whole. In the January Issue, Mowbray writes about this amazing food culture developing in America (which Deen's recipes are a part of), yet our obesity rates are so high. He said, "At the school level, however, let alone the mall, we often feed our kids junk." And then he quoted Curt Ellis, cofounder of FoodCorps, who said, "We teach children that this is America's food culture. In schools and other institutions, we just decided that cost matters more than quality."I think Mowbray nailed it with this essay. And as a school teacher, I see first hand the horrible food our children have to eat for lunch, and sometimes breakfast, each day. It's over processed, lowest quality meats filled with carbs and sugar. If we continue to raise our children to eat junk, then they will continue to eat junk when they are adults. So perhaps we have not seen the worst of our obesity epidemic. This is where the problem starts....how do we make it end? Perhaps that could be another blog. What I do know, is that if Paula Deen saw what my students eat everyday, she'd be appauled. And I also know my students would eat a lot healthier if they ate Deen's food compared to what they are now...

But before I let Ms. Paula off the hook, I do have one bone to pick with her...and it's not dipped in mayonnaise or lard. I'm angry at her character. She portrays herself on her shows as this 'southern mother' role to her fans, and to me that means she wants a trustworthy, protective relationship with them. However, she lied to her following public for three years AND she's only revealing her Diabetes because a pharmaceutical company is paying her to. And that's wrong. People should not be mad at her cooking, but the manner in which she acted. When you are a role model, what ever your expertise is, it is your responsibility to be truthful to the people that look up to you. Her actions are no different than all of these sports players that children look up to on the field, and then off the field they get caught using drugs. Paula Deen has put money before her fans, and therefore is no better. I defend her food, but I can't defend her actions.

Side Note: I lost another 2.5 pounds this week! YAY!

Thanks...

...to whoever decided this was the right way to look. Fashion magazines to blame? This culture needs to change. Not because I'm over weight, but because to be that thin is unhealthy....and most men don't think it's sexy either.

Clothes Shopping

I'll start by saying I lost 3 pounds this past week. YAY!

My triumph was quickly trumped by the need to buy an outfit for an engagement party this weekend. I don't know if the anxiety began when I knew the party was approaching and I'd be the fattest one there, or when I was in the dressing room looking in the mirror at the 2367th outfit that 'didn't do it' for me. Either way, I spent two days mulling over whether I should wear jeans or a dress, and what's the point cuz I'll look horrible anyway. Nonetheless my shopping experience was less than desirable. After 3 hours of shopping, I eventually settled on a top with jeans and flashy earrings-a safe way to deflect fatness is to wear flashy jewelry btw. People look at your jewelry and not you. If you don't believe me about this, go into any plus size store the next time you need jewelry-they have the most awesome stuff. I get more compliments on my costume jewelry...I just don't tell people where it comes from!

The whole night got me thinking about Plus Sized shopping in general. There are so many limiting factors to shopping plus size. For starters, you have to plan what you're going to buy weeks in advance. There are very few actual stores at your disposal. A non-fat person can hop in a car to the mall and have 30+ stores to choose from. We have maybe 2-3 stores tops. So unless you do your homework for EXACTLY what you're going to buy in those few stores, you're best bet is to shop online. That's the only browsing you're allowed to do. So if you need something fast, like I did on Friday, you're screwed.

You're also limited to the trends you're allowed to be part of when you're plus size. Since you're already at the disposal of the few stores that make plus sized clothing, you really have to fall at their mercy that they will be designing to the up to the minute fashion trends in order for you to 'try' to fit in with everyone else. I've often found that many stores don't do this. I understand that some fashion trends are NOT made to be worn by the big girls...like tube tops, skinny jeans with boots over them, mini skirts, etc. However, I am still under 60 and want to look young.

Finally, some plaus size stores change their size scale. Instead of having normal sizes, they convert their entire store into the 1X, 2X and 3X sizes. Some even have odd measuring systems and give them various numbers like 2, 4, and 6. Maybe they do this to make us feel better? I'm not sure, but I know my size. Don't try to make me think otherwise. It's so confusing.

If you're plus size, and are interested in knowing what stores I'm talking about, I'm going to list all of the stores I've shopped at and rate them according to the following criteria on a scale of 1 to 5:

Price
Style
Fit
Accessories
Availability




Lane Bryant
Price: 4 I love LB, but I can't always afford their clothes. Their clothes are VERY well made and last a long time.
Style: 4 They do a good job at keeping up with the trends. They've got DKNY and SEVEN jeans on board, and they have a wide variety of clothes from skirts to jeans.
Fit: 4 Their clothes fit well, and most of their clothes are true to size, however they resize they jeans with a weird size scale that I was never able to understand. Otherwise I would have given them a 5.
Accessories: 5 They have awesome accessories from jewelry to shoes to lingerie. Purses, scarves, fashion tights...and they're all reasonably priced
Availabilty: 5 In the last couple of years, they have made sure to have a store in just about every mall. Even in some strip malls. They also are online and are linked with other plus sized stores.

NOTE: Sometimes I"m embarrassed to shop here because LB is always in jokes about fat people. It's not the store's fault, but yours if you make the joke. I shouldn't have to be shamed for shopping here.


Fashion to Figure

Price: 5 They're clothing is very inexpensive. However the quality fits the price.

Style: 5 If you're younger and want to look somewhat like you fit in, this is the place for you. Especially if you're trendy and looking for a fun night on the town.

Fit: 1 This is where they fall short the most. They have that 1X, 2X, 3X sizing scale. They say they cater to sizes up to 26, but I think that is not true. I am a size 20, and could not fit in ANYTHING in this store. Very upset that I wasted my time.

Accessories: 3 They have cool belts and stuff like that, but they don't look made well. Plus they keep trying to sell me this girdle thing that's made of rubber and smells funny.

Availability: 2 They only have 9 stores open at this time. However you can buy online.

Avenue

Price: 4 I want to give them a five, but I often get confused by their sales. The total is never what I expect it to be when I get rung up. The prices are good, and when there is a sale they're awesome!

Style: 3 They have some nice trends, but there are a lot of clothes that are matronly. This is not the place to go if you're young.

Fit: 3 I like their tops, but I hate the way their pants fit. They run a little big and I always seem to get a camel toe

Accessories: 5 Love the stuff. BIG shoe selection. 

Availability: 5 According to the website, they have over 500 stores open accross the country. 

NOTE: As much as I like this store, one pet peeve I have with them is the company gives their employees incentives to push for you apply for a credit card. They don't always take no for an answer. You need to stay firm on your no, and they also try to get you to sign up for magazine subscriptions. YUCK!

Ashely Stuart

Price 5: Great prices and good quality clothes to match for the most part

Style 5: They have a nice selection of trend and style along with a nice business line. 

Fit 4: Everything fits well. I wasn't crazy about the skinny jeans. They were too big at the bottom.

Accessories: 5 They have some WILD jewelry-right up my alley!

Availability: 3 They don't have many stores in NJ, not sure about other states. Many of these stores are located in unsafe towns to drive alone to.

Roman's

Price: 3 I give them this score because they up the prices up front, and then have all these different specials going on at the same time. Often times, if you see an item you want that's new, wait a week and it will be on sale. 

Style: 3 The first few pages have some nice clothes. However, go deeper in the catalog and it's old lady city!

Fit: 4 This is a good thing, but often times their sizes run large.

Accessories: 2 They really only sell shoes. And all of their accessories are dated. Not really up to date.

Availability: 1 They don't have any stores. So you have to order way in advance for an event.

Other stores that have nice plus size selections are Macy's, GAP, Old Navy, Dress Barn and Talbot's. Although these stores aren't completely sold on the plus size bandwagon. Not all Macy's carry full plus size departments and GAP and Old Navy only go up to size 20 and even those sizes are available only online. However they quality is great and it's nice to buy a name brand like everyone else. Dress barn is great for dresses!

As I shop more stores, I will rate them accordingly. If you know of any stores that sell plus size clothes that I didn't mention, let me know. I'm always looking for new places to shop. I also feel the need to state that my opinions of these stores are strictly my own, and I don't endorse one store more than the other.

Scaling It All

I finally got the courage to weigh myself yesterday. It was the first weigh in since before the holidays. Although it didn't put me into suicide mode like I'd predicted, it still made me feel bad. And taking into consideration the fact I've been eating pretty healthy for over a week now, I can only imagine how high it was before I began this journey. Perhaps I should have weighed myself before beginning this new me, but I didn't want to torture myself anymore.

I feel this tremendous guilt and anger over my weight on a daily basis. Being overweight is an incredibly exhausting experience. I've spent my life going into social situations and having my first thought "Okay, is there anyone here fatter than me?" And sadly, as a result, I usually walk away feeling shame and judged. And those feelings send an over eater straight to the kitchen.

I don't know how to overcome these feelings. Perhaps I need to accept it? Or maybe I need to develop strategies to feel good with my body. Whatever it is, I know I need to change here...however I think society needs to change as well. Last week, everyone on facebook and even on the radio was complaining about all the 'resolutioners' taking up the equipment at the gym. Some people said some pretty harsh things about those people, and it made me angry. If I didn't have to budget to start the gym until the end of the month, I'd be one of 'those people.' I understand that the real issue is everyone who is a 'faithful gymer' is put off by their routine being broken up, but I somehow still take it personally. I guess I see it as judging. Americans are so horribly judgmental about weight...or anything askew from status quo. Overweight people are looked at as sloppy, lazy, unmotivated- and I am NONE of those things. I

The world can be so cruel...

White Bean and Escarole Soup

My sister gave me the basis for this recipe and I've tweaked it a little. This is an easy to make, healthy soup that goes great with some crusty bread and a nice deep red wine!

1- yellow onion with a coarse chop

2- heads escarole loosely chopped

2- cans while cannellini beans, drained and rinsed

2- cloves of garlic smashed

8- cups of beef or chicken broth

1-2 tbsp olive oil

1 tsp red pepper flakes

1-2 parmesan cheese rinds (can be purchased at supermarket)

salt and pepper to taste

1. Coat the bottom of a large pot with olive oil and turn heat to medium.

2. Add onion and red pepper flakes and saute until the onion is translucent.

3. Add escarole and let escarole wilt down, but still remain that bright green color

4. When the escarole is wilted, but still is bright green, quickly add the stock.

5. Add two cans of cannellini beans.

6. Add the parmesan rinds, but be careful about adding salt, since the rinds will eventually release salt( I add salt toward the end for that reason).

7. Bring to a boil and then reduce to simmer for about 45min to an hour.

8. Sprinkle fresh parmesan cheese on top and serve with crusty bread.

*There's a few modifications you could add if you want. like small turkey meatballs or even a can of diced tomatoes. 

Avoiding and Limiting Carbs...An Art in Itself

I know for a fact I eat too many carbs. I also know that someone with PCOS (that's me!) has a MUCH lower metabolism than most people. And because of the over production of hormones, it tricks the body into thinking you need more food. So how does one effectively eliminate or lower carbs and still feel satisfied after a meal?

A MAJOR faux pas in this country that no body cares to highlight is the suggested portions on the nutrition labels of packaged food are much higher than the USDA's recommendation. According the the USDA's food pyramid (http://www.choosemyplate.gov/food-groups/grains-counts.html), a women from 31-50 should have 6oz. of grains a day. One ounce of carbs is considered a serving and is usually around 15grams of carbs. So if you have a serving of 8 crackers that is 24 grams of carbs according to the label on the box that they claim is a serving, you're over eating. That's actually almost TWO servings of crackers-not one like the box said. And no one wants to make this public...because if you eat more, you buy more! So start paying attention to HOW MANY grams are in a carbohydrate, not what a serving size consists of. Rule of thumb: 15grams of carbs=1 serving. The USDA recommends 300grams of carbs a day. I'm limiting myself to 100.


Step 1 is to pay more attention to my body. Step 2 is mastering carbs. This week I focused on hearty soups and chili for lunch and dinner with a small serving of bread on the side. I can't see the joy in eating a sandwich with one piece of bread-that's just silly and unnatural to me. Wednesday night I made a big pot of White Bean and Escarole Soup (recipe to follow in separate blog). It's fed me pretty much the rest of the week and I never felt deprived. It actually made me feel proud of myself for limiting my carbs.


A couple other sneaky carb busting tricks to save you from the bulge:

• replace mashed potatoes with mashed cauliflower or turnips
• smoothies for breakfast
• lettuce wraps
• wine instead of beer
• tacos with smaller flour tortilla and taco salad with all the leftovers the next day
• chili and soup as whole meals
• salads loaded with cheese, nuts and avocados will make you feel fuller

Does anyone else have tricks to limit carbs? I'd love to hear them! And do you know where you stand on the food pyramid? I don't agree with it 100%, but there are some parts of that guide that are worthwhile. Check out the website and see for yourself:

http://www.choosemyplate.gov/

Realizations, Reality and Keeping it Real

Today was a test. It was my first day back at work after a week off. My test was to see, after a long day and 5 years of excuses, if I would keep a morning promise to workout when I got home. I passed the test if you were wondering...

Despite this great accomplishment, I had a set back- a student brought a late Christmas gift of chocolates and with out thinking twice, I instantly devoured 3. It got me thinking about the choices we make in life and how some of these choices are almost involuntary. Think about all the choices you have to make through out the day...what you wear, your path to work, who you decide to say hi to and those you just smile at as you walk by-those are all choices based on a rationale thought. Like "I'm wearing pants today because it will be cold" or "I will make a left at the light because I think the store is that direction." What about the choices you don't even realize you make? Like eating those pieces of chocolate. They may be so imbedded in ourselves, that we don't even realize they were 'choices' in the first place.

I realized today this may be one of my biggest issues with food. I do NOT pay attention to my eating habits, as in I DO NOT LISTEN TO MYSELF. When I said that out loud on the way home, I started asking why this is something I've never done when it came to food. I'm not sure I have a solid answer yet, but I have some ideas...

1. I'm too hard on myself. Living with OCD can be very incriminating. One mistake and I shoot myself down. I'm a loser, lazy, asshole-you name it, I've called myself it. I have spent my life setting myself up to fail at this. If my day of eating isn't perfect, I give up.

2. I put others before myself. This might be because I'm so hard on myself, that I feel I don't deserve the 'me time' and would rather invest my efforts into helping others. And added to that I worry too much what people think about me. Since I'm not giving myself love, I try to find it from others. Not good.

Therefore, step one in this "New Me" is:

LEARN TO SAY NO

Not because I want to be mean, but because I need to clear my 'palette' and listen to what my body is saying. If it's hungry, I need the clarity to ask it whether I've had enough water in the last hour, or whether I'm doing something that's stressing me out. If my mind, and calendar is filled with the needs of others, how can ever achieve this? And learning to say no to certain people will, hopefully, in turn teach me to say no to bad eating choices as well. At least it will let me see that they are, in fact, choices in the first place.

Does anyone else out there make choices involuntarily? Perhaps these choices aren't about eating, but other bad habits. If so:

What are the things that prevent you from listening to your body? And if you can hear your body talking, what is it saying?

A New Year, A New Me?

I have overcome some tremendous obstacles in the last six years. I am proud of who I've become and that I have the clarity to push past it all. However, there is one challenge I can't seem to plow past...and that is my weight. Like so many other Americans, I have struggled with weight since I was little girl. If you track my weight chart over the course of my life, it would much like a line graph of our stock market recently...up and down. Up and down. And then back up.

I know my problems too. I like carbs. I don't watch my portions. I don't like to exercise. However, my biggest problem is I do NOT invest enough time into caring for myself. I do so much at work, I burn myself out by the end of the day. I get out of work, head over to a meeting or two, and then by the time I get home around 6, I have no interest in cooking for myself or even exercising. THIS is where I must change.

So my goal for this year is to lose weight and eat healthy. And I need your help. I've done so many diets, so many exercise programs that now my head is spinning. It's also been so long since I've followed a consistent exercise regimen, that I don't even know where to start. I plan to join a gym in the next week or two, but other than that I can't really afford to do much else. So I want to here from you. I want to know what has worked for you, what hasn't... recipes you like, exercises that target certain areas, etc.

As it stands right now, and this is hard for me to admit, I am about 100 lbs over weight. And I can't promise myself I'll loose the 100 lbs this year, but I'm sure as hell going to try. There are, hopefully, some really great moments about to come in my life, and I want to look good when they happen.

I plan to use this blog as a diet journal over the next year. Since I'm starting today, my goal for today is take a walk and to eat less than I normally would. It's a small start, but it's what I can do for today. And each day I plan to add to my goal...baby steps.

Come and join me on this journey! Happy New Year, New Me...and maybe New You!